Tim is handicapped. Tim cannot speak. Tim can barely walk. Tim can understand me perfectly, but he cannot respond in a conventional manner. Tim has a small card which has the alphabet and numbers 0-9 on it. To speak to me, he must spell out every word he wants to say.
We arrived at the Achievement Center that morning and when I met Tim he was sitting and conversing with two girls from the Youth Group. He looked at me and spelled out, "Are you Christians?" We all said yes and asked him the same. He responded with a very definite "Oh yeah!" They were going bowling so we all piled in and followed them to the ally. When we got settled, I sat down next to Tim and he asked, "How long have you been a Christian?" I responded that I had been raised in the church and that I received the bulk of my faith from my parents. He asked me if I could pray for him. "Sure! Do you have anything specific you need prayers for?" "I a m v e r y w e a k, " Tim responded. He told me that he was struggling with his faith and that he felt very troubled. So I prayed. I prayed out loud for Tim. After I finished, he tapped me and spelled out "W O W." I looked at him puzzled and asked what he meant. "You are very strong," he responded. He asked me how I got to have such strong faith. I told him that I just read the Bible a lot and try to know God more intensely. He asked me, "What do you do when you feel weak?" I told him that I read stories in the Bible about people who felt weak sometimes and see what they did and how God reacted to them. "D A V I D." I was so excited when Tim said David. We talked about how he was our favorite character in the Bible. Then he said, "I wish I had your strength."
I wish I had Tim's strength. Tim has a much harder life than I do. There are so many things that Tim will never get to experience that I can. Yet, Tim has some few small doubts. A man who could curse God for all that has happened to him chooses to believe and have faith anyway. But I, who have more than I could ask for in my own life, who squanders the good gifts I receive, I doubt God's power in my own life. I wish I had Tim's strength and Tim's faith.
I thought about the story in John when the people ask Jesus who sinned that the man was born blind. Jesus tells them no one but that he was born blind to glorify God. I struggle with that. How could a person whose life is made so much harder from a disability be glorifying to God? For the first time, I understood what Jesus meant by this I think. Tim was glorifying God by teaching me a lesson. It's funny, I am around some brilliant people at ACU all the time. Professors and scholars who teach me so much about God and the Text. I love that! Yet, it took a 21 year-old man who couldn't even speak a word to me to teach me more about God's love than I had ever learned before.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
the spirituality of the spiritual
For the sake of the post, let us assume that the following is true:
There are four "Quadrants" of spirituality. The landscape is in a circle. The top right of the circle represents the Kataphatic Mind. Below that is the Kataphatic Heart. The top left is the Apaphatic Mind above the Apaphatic Heart. For the sake of space I will not go into the precise definition of these terms. But a simple description will help:
Kataphatic Mind: This person's spirituality is based off of intellect. This one likes to read and says, "If it is not in the Text then it has no foundation." This person believes that God has revealed himself in many different ways and it is up to us to discover what these ways are.
Kataphatic Heart: This person's spirituality is very much centered around emotion. This person feels closest to God when worshipping with lifted hands and closed eyes. This one says, "I want to feel God."
Apaphatic Mind: This person is into the mission. This person says, "What's the point of all the worshipping when we are not loving our neighbors by going out and working with them?" This person wants to be out and about in ministry. This person feels closest to God when out in the slums with the people whom society has forgotten and serving them.
Apaphatic Heart: This person is a mystic. For those of you who know him, this is where I would put Randy Harris. This person says, "Does God even exist? If he does, what is he up to in this world?" This person asks many questions without a hope of some clear answers.
So, now that we have some simple definitions, where do you fit? Myself, I am a kataphatic mind without a doubt. You will discover that the different groups have certain levels of tolerance for one another. For instance, the apaphatic mind people have a hard time associating with people of the kataphatic heart people. It may seem like there should be one that is the best right? One could ask, "Which one was Jesus?" If Jesus fit into any of these categories it would be the best one right? Maybe not.
I was able to take a class with Dr. Jeff Childers this last semester on Spirituality. We were able to look through an anthology of spiritual writers from right after Christ all the way to today. Strangely, they all had different methods and all thought that their's was the only way to go! But, they were all led to God in the end. It is an interesting question as to what makes someone spiritual. Some would say that it means lifting your hands in worship and really "feeling" it. Others would argue differently. I think that God has a multifaceted personality that has sparked diversity into the world he has created. Thus, God responds to many different forms of spirituality. For, if one desires God and loves him with all his or her heart, soul, and veriness, and loves his or her neighbor as his or herself, then I believe that God will respond and reveal himself to that individual. Is that not the goal of spirituality?
There are four "Quadrants" of spirituality. The landscape is in a circle. The top right of the circle represents the Kataphatic Mind. Below that is the Kataphatic Heart. The top left is the Apaphatic Mind above the Apaphatic Heart. For the sake of space I will not go into the precise definition of these terms. But a simple description will help:
Kataphatic Mind: This person's spirituality is based off of intellect. This one likes to read and says, "If it is not in the Text then it has no foundation." This person believes that God has revealed himself in many different ways and it is up to us to discover what these ways are.
Kataphatic Heart: This person's spirituality is very much centered around emotion. This person feels closest to God when worshipping with lifted hands and closed eyes. This one says, "I want to feel God."
Apaphatic Mind: This person is into the mission. This person says, "What's the point of all the worshipping when we are not loving our neighbors by going out and working with them?" This person wants to be out and about in ministry. This person feels closest to God when out in the slums with the people whom society has forgotten and serving them.
Apaphatic Heart: This person is a mystic. For those of you who know him, this is where I would put Randy Harris. This person says, "Does God even exist? If he does, what is he up to in this world?" This person asks many questions without a hope of some clear answers.
So, now that we have some simple definitions, where do you fit? Myself, I am a kataphatic mind without a doubt. You will discover that the different groups have certain levels of tolerance for one another. For instance, the apaphatic mind people have a hard time associating with people of the kataphatic heart people. It may seem like there should be one that is the best right? One could ask, "Which one was Jesus?" If Jesus fit into any of these categories it would be the best one right? Maybe not.
I was able to take a class with Dr. Jeff Childers this last semester on Spirituality. We were able to look through an anthology of spiritual writers from right after Christ all the way to today. Strangely, they all had different methods and all thought that their's was the only way to go! But, they were all led to God in the end. It is an interesting question as to what makes someone spiritual. Some would say that it means lifting your hands in worship and really "feeling" it. Others would argue differently. I think that God has a multifaceted personality that has sparked diversity into the world he has created. Thus, God responds to many different forms of spirituality. For, if one desires God and loves him with all his or her heart, soul, and veriness, and loves his or her neighbor as his or herself, then I believe that God will respond and reveal himself to that individual. Is that not the goal of spirituality?
Monday, June 2, 2008
In the Wilderness
It has been quite a start. The car accident has made my life pretty difficult these last couple of weeks. Not only am I putting a lot of pressure on my boss and host-family to drive me around town, I became faced with the decision of possibly letting go of my pride and joy mustang. I am going to keep for anyone who would worry. But I have been thinking about what this last year has been like for me and I started to get down. It has been rough and it seems like every time things are looking up, another obsticle comes in my way and I can't seem to make it to my metaphorical "Promised Land."
I've been thinking about the wilderness. When Israel needed a harsh lesson on how to live with and trust God, he sends them to wander in the wilderness. When Jesus needed his lesson on how to trust God, he sent him into the wilderness. While my problems hardly compare to Israel's or Jesus, I am faced with seeing that maybe I have been led to a wilderness of my own.
John Siburt, the preacher here at RE, gave a sermon yesterday from Luke about being persistent in prayer. He made the statement, "If you bother God, he'll bother you." I like that. We seem to spend a lot of time asking for things whether it be forgiveness or strength or some other kind of help from God. I think God acknowledges these prayers. But at the same time, maybe he shows us where we need to be involved in the process. Can we really expect to sit back and do nothing while God does all the work? Perhaps when we say, "God, give me strength," he responds, "Here's how you can strengthen yourself."
The wilderness is the place for learning a lesson. I don't know what lesson I need to learn, but as I pray for trust in God, it seems that his response is simply, "Trust me." It is not the easiest way to learn lessons, but I think Michael Card is right in saying that "the windy winter wilderness can blow the self away." Only once the self is gone and one is completely lost in the wilderness can one really be found by God.
Shalom
I've been thinking about the wilderness. When Israel needed a harsh lesson on how to live with and trust God, he sends them to wander in the wilderness. When Jesus needed his lesson on how to trust God, he sent him into the wilderness. While my problems hardly compare to Israel's or Jesus, I am faced with seeing that maybe I have been led to a wilderness of my own.
John Siburt, the preacher here at RE, gave a sermon yesterday from Luke about being persistent in prayer. He made the statement, "If you bother God, he'll bother you." I like that. We seem to spend a lot of time asking for things whether it be forgiveness or strength or some other kind of help from God. I think God acknowledges these prayers. But at the same time, maybe he shows us where we need to be involved in the process. Can we really expect to sit back and do nothing while God does all the work? Perhaps when we say, "God, give me strength," he responds, "Here's how you can strengthen yourself."
The wilderness is the place for learning a lesson. I don't know what lesson I need to learn, but as I pray for trust in God, it seems that his response is simply, "Trust me." It is not the easiest way to learn lessons, but I think Michael Card is right in saying that "the windy winter wilderness can blow the self away." Only once the self is gone and one is completely lost in the wilderness can one really be found by God.
Shalom
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thoughts on Josiah
I am preparing for my class next Sunday with the middle school kids since I am going out of town this week. The topic is looking at King Josiah at the end of 2 Kings. I have been reading through his story and thinking of some different things as I reflect on his life and work.
Josiah has an interesting encounter with God. His is unlike any other I have encountered in the text. He is born to a line of kings who, for the last two generations, have seriously disrupted the religion in Israel. Manasseh and Amon ruin Judah and their relationship with YHWH. For all we know, Josiah may have ended up the same way but, fortunately, Hilkiah the priest finds the scriptures and reads them to Josiah. Josiah is ashamed and angry at the way that things have been done thus far. He orders that the priests begin officiating according to Torah and that the people begin to follow what it says. He holds a major reformation and gets rid of everything his forefathers had failed to rid Israel of. So Josiah is a great guy. 23:25 says: "Before him there was no king like him, who turned to YHWH with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his might, according to the law of Moses; nor did any like him arise after him." Obviously the writer holds Josiah and his works in a great light.
But, after this, it says that YHWH is not pleased enough. He is still going to punish Judah greatly and allow them to be overtaken into captivity. He at least allows that, because of his great works, Josiah will not have to live through it. Yet, in the next section we hear that Josiah goes to meet an enemy (Egypt) in battle and is killed. So much for YHWH apparently taking care of Josiah. One would think that a king of such high character might have YHWH's power on his side when going into battle.
History tells us that Pharoah Neco was headed up to meet the Babylonians head on at Megiddo. Babylon has beaten Assyria and is taking over the region. Josiah wants to stop Neco for some reason. Perhaps Josiah's actions were in conflict with the works of YHWH to raise up Babylon to take Judah captive. This seems like an alright assumption.
It seems that the people hold much regard for Josiah as a leader and reformer. But we hear little about what YHWH thinks about Josiah. He allows him not to be part of the destruction of Judah but it seems that this is as far as YHWH's mercy goes for Josiah. I think this is an interesting view of YHWH's feelings toward Judah at this point and the way that the people see YHWH working among them.
Shalom
Josiah has an interesting encounter with God. His is unlike any other I have encountered in the text. He is born to a line of kings who, for the last two generations, have seriously disrupted the religion in Israel. Manasseh and Amon ruin Judah and their relationship with YHWH. For all we know, Josiah may have ended up the same way but, fortunately, Hilkiah the priest finds the scriptures and reads them to Josiah. Josiah is ashamed and angry at the way that things have been done thus far. He orders that the priests begin officiating according to Torah and that the people begin to follow what it says. He holds a major reformation and gets rid of everything his forefathers had failed to rid Israel of. So Josiah is a great guy. 23:25 says: "Before him there was no king like him, who turned to YHWH with all his heart, with all his soul, and with all his might, according to the law of Moses; nor did any like him arise after him." Obviously the writer holds Josiah and his works in a great light.
But, after this, it says that YHWH is not pleased enough. He is still going to punish Judah greatly and allow them to be overtaken into captivity. He at least allows that, because of his great works, Josiah will not have to live through it. Yet, in the next section we hear that Josiah goes to meet an enemy (Egypt) in battle and is killed. So much for YHWH apparently taking care of Josiah. One would think that a king of such high character might have YHWH's power on his side when going into battle.
History tells us that Pharoah Neco was headed up to meet the Babylonians head on at Megiddo. Babylon has beaten Assyria and is taking over the region. Josiah wants to stop Neco for some reason. Perhaps Josiah's actions were in conflict with the works of YHWH to raise up Babylon to take Judah captive. This seems like an alright assumption.
It seems that the people hold much regard for Josiah as a leader and reformer. But we hear little about what YHWH thinks about Josiah. He allows him not to be part of the destruction of Judah but it seems that this is as far as YHWH's mercy goes for Josiah. I think this is an interesting view of YHWH's feelings toward Judah at this point and the way that the people see YHWH working among them.
Shalom
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Passport, Car Wreck, and the Stanley Cup Finals
Last night I went to a band concert for a few of the kids in the youth group. It seemed crazy because I was missing game 6 of a heated battle between the Detroit Red Wings and the Dallas Stars in Dallas. But, seeing as though every time I missed the game the Wings won and every time I watched they lost, I decided to put on my team's hat and go to the concert. To my ultimate excitement, the Wings were up 3-0 at the end of the first period! They went on to win 4-1 and kicked the Stars out to go on to the Stanley Cup finals against the Pens. So life is good right?
Negative.
I have been a mess the last few days because I orered a passprt for our mission trip and it came in like two weeks! That was record timing as far as I'm concerned! But, I was a little absent minded and left it back in Abilene and I cannot remember where so my brother can go get it and mail it to me! Someting that he should not have to do in the first place! I have never felt so disorganized! I knew I should have started packing earlier so I would have time to remember things like that! So, I think I may have to drive back to Abilene for a day and find it just to come back up here for work.
Wrong.
This morning, to my ultimate disappointment and the lowest I have ever been in my life, I was turning off my street to go to work and I looked down for a split second and when I looked up I ran into the gaurd rail on the side of the road. I felt like I could see anything because my front windshield was smashed. The only object in the car capable of hitting the window was my head! No worries. The only thin hurt on me is my pride. I've never been so embarassed in front of the whole ministry staff of RE helping me push the car back to my host home.
So, with no car and no passport, the next couple of weeks are looking grim. I am angry at myself for being such a bone head and not thinking. But I'm trying to be excited that at least the Wings are going to the finals. Things are starting to look up for Daisy (my car) but we'll have to wait and see.
Pray for my sanity
Shalom
Negative.
I have been a mess the last few days because I orered a passprt for our mission trip and it came in like two weeks! That was record timing as far as I'm concerned! But, I was a little absent minded and left it back in Abilene and I cannot remember where so my brother can go get it and mail it to me! Someting that he should not have to do in the first place! I have never felt so disorganized! I knew I should have started packing earlier so I would have time to remember things like that! So, I think I may have to drive back to Abilene for a day and find it just to come back up here for work.
Wrong.
This morning, to my ultimate disappointment and the lowest I have ever been in my life, I was turning off my street to go to work and I looked down for a split second and when I looked up I ran into the gaurd rail on the side of the road. I felt like I could see anything because my front windshield was smashed. The only object in the car capable of hitting the window was my head! No worries. The only thin hurt on me is my pride. I've never been so embarassed in front of the whole ministry staff of RE helping me push the car back to my host home.
So, with no car and no passport, the next couple of weeks are looking grim. I am angry at myself for being such a bone head and not thinking. But I'm trying to be excited that at least the Wings are going to the finals. Things are starting to look up for Daisy (my car) but we'll have to wait and see.
Pray for my sanity
Shalom
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Prince Caspian, Hockey, and Yellow Cars
I have spent my first few couple of days here in Richardson/Garland/Dallas Texas and already things are off to a bang. The other intern, Erin and I took 31 kids to go see the new Narnia movie, Prince Caspian last night. It was looking to be a blast until we found out that the Youth Minister Casey would not be there! We had three adult helpers. After losing a couple of kids and and reprimanding those who didn't listen, we had a good night.
I made the awful mistake while driving the van full of noisy teenagers of teaching them a new game. "Every time you see a yellow car, except for school buses, you yell out 'Yellow Car!' The first person to beat me will get a slurpy." Bad idea. For the entire trip all I had was girls screaming and guys telling them to shut up. They all seemed to like the game, too much. All in all, it wasn't a bad trip.
I have spent most of the day with my amazing host family the Steinmetz's. Thie kids play hockey and basketball. Apparently, God knew what he was doing once again when he paired me with this wonderful family. The only problem they seem to have is their liking the Dallas Stars who are enevitably going to be destroyed by my Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup playoffs. But I can forgive a little healthy competition. They truly have been a blessing and I could not be happier. Collin and I have been hitting some pucks and are going to get some ice time later in the summer. Connor and I have been shooting some hoops and plan to go to the health club and get into some pick-up games. Things are looking up for this to be a fantastic summer. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with you!
Grace and Peace
I made the awful mistake while driving the van full of noisy teenagers of teaching them a new game. "Every time you see a yellow car, except for school buses, you yell out 'Yellow Car!' The first person to beat me will get a slurpy." Bad idea. For the entire trip all I had was girls screaming and guys telling them to shut up. They all seemed to like the game, too much. All in all, it wasn't a bad trip.
I have spent most of the day with my amazing host family the Steinmetz's. Thie kids play hockey and basketball. Apparently, God knew what he was doing once again when he paired me with this wonderful family. The only problem they seem to have is their liking the Dallas Stars who are enevitably going to be destroyed by my Detroit Red Wings in the Stanley Cup playoffs. But I can forgive a little healthy competition. They truly have been a blessing and I could not be happier. Collin and I have been hitting some pucks and are going to get some ice time later in the summer. Connor and I have been shooting some hoops and plan to go to the health club and get into some pick-up games. Things are looking up for this to be a fantastic summer. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with you!
Grace and Peace
Friday, May 9, 2008
New Post!
Hello,
So I have been really bad about this thing and I will be better now that I am going to be an intern again. I am sitting in the library at ACU at 8:30 in the morning because I thought I had my Greek final at 8:00. Unfortunately, I have just discovered that it is not until noon today. I really do not feel fortunate.
One week from today I head out to Richardson Texas (part of the DFW metroplex) to do another youth internship. As I am finishing the semester and as I prepare to leave I have been thinking about this last year. Here are some thoughts:
This year has been the worst thus far in my college career. Personal matters have kept my mind bogged down and unfocused on school while school has consisted at one point with having Hebrew, Greek, and Exegesis all in the same semester. The semester I am about to finish has consisted of a ministry class that (ask anyone in the Bible Department!) has no use whatsoever for my life and a missions class that has caused my life more grief than Greek and Hebrew combined. I think about one of the spirituality authors we discussed in Dr. Childers' class this semester; John of the Cross. He writes about a period in life called the "dark night of the soul." John is convinced that this period of grief or hardship must come in every person's life who seeks to draw closer to God. A good dose of disappointment and distress is God's antidote for our selfish and loud behavior. What does it take for God to get his people to listen? John of the Cross argues that it is different for each person but calls it generally the dark night of the soul. The time when God finally breaks through and a person is bombarded with all the things God has been trying to say all this time and finally gets through. This has been my experience this last year. Surely, this is not the only time I will face hardship in my life, but I feel now that I finally understand God in a way never seen before for me. The strange thing is, it did not come from a great Bible class or a sermon or a lesson from some teacher. It came from God giving me what I needed: a nice hard slap over the head.
When my dad really wanted to get through to me, he either would hit me up-side the head or use his iron fingers of death and poke me so as to get my attention. It usually did. While I do not pretend to say that I would like God to do something like this (how awful would that be??), He has his own subtle ways of getting my attention. Answering prayers that I think I know what I'm praying until God answers it and it's not what I thought I was praying for. Please do not misunderstand me as saying that I have God figured out. Not at all! But the Bible gives us examples of how people have experienced God over the centuries. I am seeing the way in which I experience God as his adopted child and worker.
May God never cease to teach me lessons that I need to learn and reveal himself to me in whatever way he deems acceptable.
Shalom
So I have been really bad about this thing and I will be better now that I am going to be an intern again. I am sitting in the library at ACU at 8:30 in the morning because I thought I had my Greek final at 8:00. Unfortunately, I have just discovered that it is not until noon today. I really do not feel fortunate.
One week from today I head out to Richardson Texas (part of the DFW metroplex) to do another youth internship. As I am finishing the semester and as I prepare to leave I have been thinking about this last year. Here are some thoughts:
This year has been the worst thus far in my college career. Personal matters have kept my mind bogged down and unfocused on school while school has consisted at one point with having Hebrew, Greek, and Exegesis all in the same semester. The semester I am about to finish has consisted of a ministry class that (ask anyone in the Bible Department!) has no use whatsoever for my life and a missions class that has caused my life more grief than Greek and Hebrew combined. I think about one of the spirituality authors we discussed in Dr. Childers' class this semester; John of the Cross. He writes about a period in life called the "dark night of the soul." John is convinced that this period of grief or hardship must come in every person's life who seeks to draw closer to God. A good dose of disappointment and distress is God's antidote for our selfish and loud behavior. What does it take for God to get his people to listen? John of the Cross argues that it is different for each person but calls it generally the dark night of the soul. The time when God finally breaks through and a person is bombarded with all the things God has been trying to say all this time and finally gets through. This has been my experience this last year. Surely, this is not the only time I will face hardship in my life, but I feel now that I finally understand God in a way never seen before for me. The strange thing is, it did not come from a great Bible class or a sermon or a lesson from some teacher. It came from God giving me what I needed: a nice hard slap over the head.
When my dad really wanted to get through to me, he either would hit me up-side the head or use his iron fingers of death and poke me so as to get my attention. It usually did. While I do not pretend to say that I would like God to do something like this (how awful would that be??), He has his own subtle ways of getting my attention. Answering prayers that I think I know what I'm praying until God answers it and it's not what I thought I was praying for. Please do not misunderstand me as saying that I have God figured out. Not at all! But the Bible gives us examples of how people have experienced God over the centuries. I am seeing the way in which I experience God as his adopted child and worker.
May God never cease to teach me lessons that I need to learn and reveal himself to me in whatever way he deems acceptable.
Shalom
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
I Love School!!
So I am finally back at school and I feel so at home here. I have realized how much I have come to love college. Even to the point where I am sad that my undergrad is almost over. I don't want to be done with school. I know that ministry will be exciting and I will love it but I love just sitting at the feet of some of the most brilliant people as they teach me about the Bible and help fashion and strengthen my relationship with God.
So I think I am going to stay here for grad school. Of course this all could change very quickly but for now I just feel like this is the place I need to be to get the education I am desiring. Perhaps I will have the opportunity to go to Oxford or even Israel to do some studies but for now, I am content in the little town of Abilene.
So I think I am going to stay here for grad school. Of course this all could change very quickly but for now I just feel like this is the place I need to be to get the education I am desiring. Perhaps I will have the opportunity to go to Oxford or even Israel to do some studies but for now, I am content in the little town of Abilene.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
